So many of you may or may not know me as Bopah from
previously being a YouTube Vlogger. I
vlogged for about 5 years with Boatie, who is now my ex, whom I co-parent with
to raise our 2 sons. During the course
of that 5 years, we made some really great memories and had the wonderful
support of so many. I will always be grateful for that time in my life. Now however, my life is very, very different
and I've gotten used to expressing myself through my Vlogs which I would do
now, but unfortunately, I do not have a working camera at this time so here I
am blogging away. So here we go...
Well first my name is actually Angelica. I have had people ask if I mind still being
called Bopah and honestly, I don't. That
name will always be a part of me, and I do still have friends that call me
that. I am a proud to say I am 35, even
though it took me about 4 years to get to the point of stating my real age.
Now, I actually love it. I realize how
much wiser I get as the years go by, even if sometimes it doesn't seem that way
in the moment. lol I can honestly look back and I think, "Wow, how in the
world did all that happen in a short amount of time, and yet here I am still
standing". I do give my children most
of the credit because they were the ones silently telling me "You can do
it Mom!" in their own way by just loving me unconditionally. They will
always be my strength and reason for pushing myself as hard as I do.
So, my break up was one of the most devastating things in my
life, and I lived for the moments I had with my boys. I even started sleeping with my 4-year-old at
the time because I couldn't bear to sleep in my huge bed alone. In the
beginning I did it for him, because he was upset that Boatie no longer lived
with us. As any parent who has gone through this knows, it can be an extremely
hard time. We often blame ourselves when our children hurt when something like
that happens. He would cry himself to
sleep and I would hold him and try to comfort him the best I could. All the while singing his nighttime
"wheels on the bus" song and silently crying myself. It honestly took
me back to a time where it was just my oldest son and myself, and his other
person left. I even kept calling my
youngest son by his brother’s name because that's where it really took me. I would just correct myself and move on about
what I was saying or doing, but it lasted a good month or 2 until I stopped
doing that. Crazy how our minds work
like that at times.
Fast forward almost 2 years later, and I now sleep in my own
bed (thank you, thank you) and my youngest sleeps on his own. He still gets sad by the fact that his other
mom doesn't live with us, but rarely does it come out as often as it did
before. My oldest who is 17 had an issue
with our split in the beginning, and he basically stated "Well, everyone
leaves so its whatever". (talk about
twisting my heart into knots) Of course I reassured him that it wasn't the case
and she would still be around, but seeing as she moved over 2 and a half hours
from us, he was harder to convince. Now
however, he has seen how things have been, and has a normal relationship with
us both. He is completely back to
thinking we are both uncool because we are parents. Which I however would like
to state, "Umm hellooo, I'm a cool mom" Just saying. 👄
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